thought

What thoughts swim

through the minds unconscious

then surfacing spit

bubbles from the lip

as metaphors and lies spill into the darkness?

returning

After a week of light headed airy open days of illness and a thorough break from the blog project I am finding the threads of life slow to grasp once more. I am going to try and post on here weekly from now on while I struggle to catch up with all the things that have slipped through my fingers in the last week. I haven't been floored by a virus in a long time; it took me by surprise.

experience III

An experience of the self?

365-09 #46

experience II

An experience of the world?

Distorted by the self.

365-09 #45

experience

At present, I'm struggling to write an essay on the ways in which moral and religous ideals shape our experience of the self and our experience of the world. Things will be going smoothly, the thoughts will be flowing, there is clear progression from one premise to the next, then all of a sudden I will be thrown into complete confusion. The current concern that has arrested my progress is that I cannot define what an experience is. They are these things that we have constantly but are continually elusive. We can describe what they taught us or how they felt when they happened, we can reflect on their affect onus. But when it comes to knowing the thing in itself, they slip through our fingers.

The Oxford English Dictionary lists the following definition:

experience, n. actual observation of or practical acquaintance with facts or events; knowledge or skill resulting from this. a; event that affects one, fact or process of being so affected.

Experience of the self and of the world relates directly to what we know (or think we know) about these two things. Perhaps we define our experiences by the knowledge we gain from them. If that is the case are we really any closer to pinning down what an experience is?

365-09 #44

waves

It's one of those weeks where everything builds up, seethes round, washes over, threatens to drown you. But somehow you know you'll find a rock to balance on...

365-09 #43

space

Still. Quiet. A little absent humanity. And all that space...

365-09 #42

encouragement

Today I received a pat on the back in letter form.

It was bemusing. And I wondered at the university employing a senior administrator to congratulate students on their improvement, mid-term. Chuffed and confused, I feel now the weight of expectation. My own more than that of the institution. Despite my belief that what matters is the process, I struggle to force my mark into insignificance. It's a tough task when all about you people are basing their quality on a grade. It's a tough task when at high school you were accustomed to consistently achieving top marks. To avoid disappointment reason insists upon the levelling of emotion in this case, however hard it may be.

365-09 41

2 metaphors

Dinner time. The second time I have sat round the dining table with my housemates. The second time within 3 days. I get the feeling, as someone offers excitedly to cook for us all again in two nights time, that I have set something in motion. I comment on this. "I feel like I've pushed a boulder from the top of a hill" I say, and immediately regret it as 4 faces turn to me in puzzled amusement. The metaphor was completely lost on them.

2pm seminar. 8 people lounging at desks with books askew. The topic under scrutiny happens to be Nietzsche's attitude towards the origins of moral law. I offer an interpretation. "The moral law is made of years of habit and custom, like fossils" I impulsively add. There is a moment of silence as my peers attempt to make the connection. And then back up arrives from my tutor. Essentially the formation of laws is just like the formation of fossils. Customs are repeated year upon year; layers of silt build up. Eventually they become set in stone; petrified.

365-09 #40

timing.

I really should blog in the day time. Now, I have too many thoughts to put in order and not enough energy. Perhaps after some sleep things will be slightly clearer....

365-09 #39

some more Nietzsche

last night I was lying in bed feeling the weight of my body and a calmness that spread from the inside to the furthest limbs and I suddenly realised that I had forgotten to post on here. So I'm playing catch up for the first time.

I was feeling very claustrophobic about the city yesterday, craving countryside and open space like nothing else. It made me think of an aphorism I came across in Nietzsche recently:

"We like to be out in nature so much because it has no opinion about us." (508- Human, all too Human)

If you stand still and in silence you can imagine the land without yourself. It is as if you were never there, the sheep will graze as they would if you were absent, the wind still brushes through the grass, the birds maintain their flight. It is one of the most beautifully humbling moments.

365-09 #38

365-09 #37

www.wefeelfine.org


365-09 #36

means and ends

should each moment be an end in itself?

can we live like this?

365-09 #?

back in the library

...wandering through the stacks of books, shelf upon shelf, I am struck by the minds represented there. It seems to me to be one of the most hushed places. Pages soaking up whispers, oozing silence. And yet each book speaks in voices of confidence, singing concepts, ideas, theories, their words of conviction. One building contains all this movement and remains so still.

365-09 #34

A poem for Brigid

Two Statements

1
I imagine that if I went to sea

I'd stare at pebbles on the beach :
Given boundless horizons free horizons we
Can concentrate on what's in reach.

2
When hope is like a poplar it doesn't matter
What use the poplar will be put to after.

It is all in the present and it rests on air
Come rest your eyes in it and take your comfort here.

John Riley

A poem for Brigid

This was brought to my attention today and, being of poetic spirit I thought I would contribute.

Feel free to copy the following to your blog and spread the word. Let poetry bless the blogosphere once again!
WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading
WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2009
WHERE: Your blog
WHY: To celebrate the Feast of Brigid, aka Groundhog Day
HOW: Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.
RSVP: If you plan to publish, feel free to leave a comment and link to whoever you hear about this from and a mighty web of poetry will be spun.Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers.

365-09 #33

a year

one year is simply a drop in the ocean of life. but who knows what will come of it.

it may be a year of evolution. every experience counts.

365-09 #32